Perhaps the most difficult part of the racists running our country isn’t that I don’t feel safe anywhere.  Maybe it is that I simply cannot imagine it ever getting better again.

I don’t remember not being scared, and it has only been two years, how have I forgotten hope so quickly?

One of the most surprising aspects of becoming who you really are is the door that opens for friendships.  If you had asked me if I had friends in college or in my adult life I would have said yes.  But I had no idea what the term meant until I was “out” as me.

The depth and breadth of “friendship” cannot be imagined without honesty.  Honesty with yourself and others.  With all the ups and downs of embracing what I am the most remarkable part of my journey has been discovering what friendship is.

Well.  I am 58 today.

I have made it 58 years on the planet, and it has gotten progressively better as I have moved along.  The screaming people in the airport bathroom suggested it was going to be a bad year, but it didn’t ruin me.  It was a good reminder that my happiness comes with risk so it was probably a much needed reality check.

I think I am going to go find a pool table today.  I played pool in high school and college when I was miserable……maybe it is more fun when you are happy.

It is an interesting exercise to try to go unnoticed wherever you go.   To not bother the “normal” people or make them feel uncomfortable.  It is not something I am particularly proud of, and it is utterly exhausting.

The odd aspect of this is that 7 out of 10 people could care less about people that are gay, trans, bi or whatever, but holy cow I spend an exorbitant amount of energy hiding in the shadows from those other three.   Because those three are loud.  Those three are looking for something to post on their Facebook.  Those three are the nightmare.

They are large in number, intense, and overwhelming but they are mine (and my friends enjoy me and Nascar crashes).

Not sure why I am not more upset about my age!

I know I am near the end of the ride but when I think about it I can’t help but grin and be grateful that I actually got the chance to be happy.  Sure it took 40 years and changing genders BUT I did get to be happy!

I really need to stop bragging about having three Masters Degrees.

My lack of common sense reflects poorly on Michigan State and Western Michigan and it really is unfair to them………………at times my nonsensical decisions are so bad I am afraid Michigan State will lose their accreditation just for graduating me!

That is a lot of pressure!!!

I am not sure if there is anyone at the controls or not…..but it’d be nice because if there isn’t I have no one to blame but myself.

It is convenient to think about our lives as a ride because it takes away most of the responsibility.

One of the best things about being me is that I have know being absolutely miserable and it makes being happy sheer bliss.  Having no friends most of your life makes finding them a treasure beyond words.  Having no purpose for the bulk of your life makes finding a profession that makes you proud a godsend.

I know its odd to not have bad days.

But I used them all up in the first 45 years of my life.

Poor Robert got stuck with them all…..