The funny aspect of coming out to people is that it can be hard to tell if they are more mad at me for not telling them earlier, or at themselves for not knowing.  It is odd how personal it is for some people.

The worst is when they can’t let go of their frustration and try to build a case for “having known all along.”  This awful twist leads to gut wrenching revision of our shared history.

The irony of my honesty leading to so much delusion is not lost on me.

If you had told me even two years ago that white men would rise up against their long history of being repressed in this country I would have asked you what drugs you were on, and to share them.

I spent 2/3’s of my life talking to women as a man and then a third of it being talked to as a woman.  And the power of the English language to demean, belittle, and devalue is amazing.

It is an entirely unique experience to be the same person and to be treated so differently.

I appreciate that I have been able to finally enjoy all of my moments.  If I have wasted a lot of years being miserable at least I have gotten to the point where I know the difference between being happy and acting happy.

Perhaps more to the point is that I have come learn the difference between enjoying the moment, and desperately searching for a moment I could enjoy.

It may not be a realistic way of looking at life, but I don’t think people that are cruel mean to be.

And in my heart I believe that if I talk to all of them they will lose interest in hating me.  It may be delusional but it lets me sleep at night.

Yup.  This is what it feels like.

It just fits.

Not sure why a lot of you that think you are good at whispering……..

Although I do understand that many of you are just pretending to hide your hate, fear, and personal opinions.  If you said things out loud, and clearly, how could you maintain the self-delusion of being a good person?